- Anti Joke

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to give him a bad reputation, but not enough to kill him

Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

knock knock whos there? nobody

How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops