Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

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Dear 6, Please stop hitting on me, I heard you've done some pretty dirty stuff with 9. Sincerely, 7

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

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why did the boy fall off his bicycle? because his dad threw a refrigerator at him.

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how much could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? it doesnt matter because they can not chuck wood

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one, its a fairly easy task

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What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

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Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

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How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

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Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favourite colour? Doesn't matter. He's dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

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Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

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How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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