Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

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Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

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How come the kid couldn't go to college Because he was black and couldn't afford it

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the top 6 dictators who have died this year Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Osama bin ladden Saddam Husein Steve jobs Internet Explorer

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Whats Bin Laden's favorite store 9/11

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Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

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My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people nit make the mistakes he did

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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3 like an eel

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

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pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops