I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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hi bros hahahhah like it up, ah ma gkenny

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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