A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

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roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

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Where's the dick??? east

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

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What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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