Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 6's boss, has been sexually assaulting 6 for years at work, but 6 needs the money too bad to say anything or quit his job.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have herpees.

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Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

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PhilosopherCon: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

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Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

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Two condoms walk into a gay bar. The people in the bar are perplexed that two inanimate objects are capable of locomotion.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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Saggy Nipples By chan chan

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Knock, Knock No one was home.

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You have 10 apples and 12 cabbages How many pizzas can you fit on the roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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Roses are RED , Violets are BLUE , once Valentines day is Over , All ya girls is gonna go back to LOVIN' THE CREW.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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A man goes to the movies with his wife, two hours later they drive home and find their house just the way they left it.

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Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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Your mom is so stupid, she stole free samples.

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor and the doctor said "There is no cure for the monkeys in your head"

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Roses are Red ?And sometimes yellow ? My mother is mellow ? Billy you have cancer ?

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I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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