Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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A black man walks Into a bar.

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What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

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What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

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What is red and green and goes round and round? A frog in a blender!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (who's there?) Not Sally.

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What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

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whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops