Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon.

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Why do many men find it difficult to make eye contact? Debilitating autism.

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

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2 + 2 = fish

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Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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Why did the frog cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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Why did little jimmy fall off the building? 9/11

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What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

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what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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Whats worse then getting shot in the leg? Getting shot twice in the leg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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