What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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Oh my God! A talking dog!

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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Justin's life

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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Really? Okay! UPPER COMMENT GOOD NIGHT NEROCHAN!

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why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

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What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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