How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

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Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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How many dead babies fit in a car? Ask Casey Anthony, she'll probably know.

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What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

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So um think of two things. Oh wait backspace that. What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Ok answer. Ok stop no seriously so. Enter. Ok Enter. Q backspace A nope Chuck Testa

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

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What do you call a Mexican with a lawnmower? The guy I'm thinking of is named Pedro. He works hard and takes care of his family.

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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if any1 wants contact with me, nina, call me on my cell at 879-555-0934 im looking for a short, chubby man with a hungering taste of mexican taste

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And I hate Jewish people

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops