A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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Keep Scrolling Penis Keep scrolling Keep scrolling

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Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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what's pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

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Getting all F's on your report card isnt that bad.... I mean you could go home to find your whole family murdered and your Girlfriend hanging from a noose.

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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Why did the computer load on facebook? Thats what you typed in.

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Why do nascar drivers wreck Jeff gordon's bad racing Stupidity And kyle buschs great wrecking ability

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

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whats similar between a eagle and a armidillo? they both can fly. apart from the armidillo.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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Q. whats worse then eating a slice of cheese? A. Finding out your mom has a penis

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

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What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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What's in a glass and drinky? A drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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