My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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darude- sandstorm

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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~Roses Are Red~ ~Violets Are Blue~ ~I Am Straight~ ~Not Sure About You~ ~Tell us?~

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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sweating like antoni with a girl

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Why was the couple in the waiting room crying? Because their son was diagnosed of AIDS and will probably not live into his twenties.

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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A Hispanic, Jew and black man walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out because he's closed.

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why was the boy crying he had cancer

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops