A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun.

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What is the name of Helin Keller's street, state and pet Street: Mahhehb State: Hahgre Pet: habdsa

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A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

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What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

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THE GAME

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

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The queen having a shit

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Why wasn't Kevin Love able to draw a perfect circle. Because, he just wasn't able to get the job done

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Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

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One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops