- Anti Joke

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

What's the difference between a gay person and a Nazi? No gay person systematically murdered 6 million people.

What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

(you will only get this if you play minecraft) whats green and looks like a penis? a creeper!

Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

69

Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet