Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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What is your bill about? Clinton

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

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What did the teapot say to the teacup? Nothing. Teapots and teacups are inanimate objects, therefore, cannot speak.

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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Beka has AIDS

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Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

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What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

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When life gives you carrots, don't make carrot juice, because it's gross.

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Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

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What dosent kill you only makes you injured

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops