Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I like to thumb up my own jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's brown and slimy? brown slime

thumb_up thumb_down -11

ejaculation JLR

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -11

People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Sarah fall off the swing. I don't know. Why? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was there a black man and a white man in a bar? Due to the probability of this occurance happening due to percentages of black/white people in a bar, this specific situation should be of no shock, in fact it is a completely normal occurance one of which should not be questioned

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops