What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Ben Corbishley

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what if i told you that leonardo decaprio didnt need an oscar but an oscar needed a leonardo decaprio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(_)_)=============D

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between cats and dogs? ....cats suck

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +12

*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops