No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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How do you confuse a blond? Look at her

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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What is the difference between a baby and a tree? Its not illegal to hit one with an axe

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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What does the president and the prime minister of china have in common, Sickle cell anemia. 342

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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Why did the white man cross the road? To pay his taxes.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops