Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave Smith. Oh, hey Dave. Come in.

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

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Bob and Joe are talking about how their grandfathers died in the Hulacaust. Bob says "Mine died in the gas chambers" Joe says "Mine got drunk and fell off the guard tower.

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Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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My name is me I like fired chicken!

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

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What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

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Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

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2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

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An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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