how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Whiney the poo and the blustery day.

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Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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My mum is called Steve

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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How many Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Their domestic handiness was not impeded by their warped sense of entitlement and racial superiority.

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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Q.Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A. It had contracted a serious illness. He had killed it as an act of mercy.

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WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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i named my son Frodo because he was little

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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