How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Whats sad about a city bus full of black people exploding. NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down -59

I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

thumb_up thumb_down +42

-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops