Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

3 like an eel

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -19

hi mom

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your life

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How you know when dislextic

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Get on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

69

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

thumb_up thumb_down -19

girls basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops