An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

thumb_up thumb_down -13

you dint have to be a jew matt

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how many couples does it take to screw in a light bulb. 1 the wife to go buy the light bulb and the husbend to put it in.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

yo momma's so dumb she attended a dyslexic test and was proven mildly autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt. Why do we have to live in a world where people have to be so concered about why a stupid chicken decides to cross a road. Shouldnt we all be more focused on ways to get a better economy, or maybe end world hunger?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Where did the AIDS victim go on vacation? To the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. whats worse then eating a slice of cheese? A. Finding out your mom has a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If life hands you lemons, take them they taste good

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops