What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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Nick Cannon

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why does my ass hurt? you have rectal cancer

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A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

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How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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why was the man sad? his wife died

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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Where are the first Cannibals in the Bible? A. 2 Corinthians 8:1

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Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

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What's the worst way to die? Alone.

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

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what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

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whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

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A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

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Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops