A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down

What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family attempted to cross the road approximately 30 seconds earlier and were immediately struck by a moving vehicle traveling at 45 miles per hour. He crossed the road to try to comfort his family while they took their final breathes of life. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a man that had recently been laid off from his union job and came down with a disease that is considered uncurable by modern science.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down

A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar, and he died.

thumb_up thumb_down

My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a Chineses filled with bus?

thumb_up thumb_down

Rebecca Black starts to sing a song, and when breaking out into her annoying chorus, we realize that it's not about the days of the week.

thumb_up thumb_down

You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

thumb_up thumb_down

I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

thumb_up thumb_down

Where do babies come from? My sex dungeon

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down

A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down

Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

thumb_up thumb_down

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops