What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

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find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

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why does beyonce sing to the left? because it has a catchy tune

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Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

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everyone lies especially if they said agree to terms of service

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I'm not sure if you share videos, but this is a great anti-joke vid. Thank you for the consideration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHydNGR9rrg

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What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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If you see Chuck Norris you should probably tell him hey for me.

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why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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the horse walks into the bar the bartender calls the pet control

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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What did the black man say to the Hispanic? Lovely weather we're having.

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how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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