Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

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Sometimes I don't make sense, but when I do, I don't

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What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

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When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

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What happens when you divide by 0? Sadly, you don't.

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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I have a really funny joke.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

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Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

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Actually, Red Bull helps temporarily restore wakefulness when experiencing fatique or drowsiness.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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What's worse than the Holocaust? • • • Stubbing your toe.

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What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. "Knock, Knock" "Who's There?" "Not Sally."

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

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Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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