- Anti Joke

Mac, or Big Jim, as his friends call him, follows the same routine that he has every day for the last several years. His days are always typical and very rarely differ or have any excitement thrown in the mix. It usually starts off by him waking up next to his wife, whom was always giving off a potent and delightful smell. This happens because she has a certain shampoo that makes her much more pleasant-smelling than the normal person, especially as she sleeps. So Big Jim then takes his pillow and throws it at her head. She usually wakes up thinking that he is trying to be a nuisance because of that, even though what follows next has happened every single time for the last few years. He continues to lightly hit her with the pillow until she, in a delightful flurry of feathers, begins to strike back. After a fun and good-looking pillow fight, he then proceeds to the bathroom to urinate and then wash his hands. After this, he then brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He goes to work and is encouraged by his boss every day for his astonishing effort and is then threatened to be promoted if it improves any more by the end of the month. He is always being encouraged by his boss because he does as much as he can do at the Woman's Abuse Shelter. He cares. But, at the end of the month he is never promoted because he threatens to take his boss's daughter out for ice cream - of whom he has fresh photos of her most recent farting accident as proof of his promise. His boss found this quite creepy and inappropriate. Normally, someone would go to the police, especially when there is photographic evidence, but the police chief is too busy to join them for ice cream and the only detective in their small town moved away four months ago. This caused a problem because the ice cream was never disposed of since the only ice cream man died one day prior due to old age. He was 79 at the time and well-loved by the community. After work, Big Jim then went home and his wife hugged him with delight. After dinner with his wife, Big Jim went to bed and had a good night's sleep.

Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

whats sad about 3 black people driving a Cadillac over a cliff? that was my Cadillac

Q: Why did the black man call the white man a rasict? A:because he called him black.

Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

Yo momma so fat she decided to have lipo suction

whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

i'm filthy rich literally because money is dirty

A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

What is the name of Steven Hawkins condom.... Anti virus

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

Vaginal secretions

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

9/11

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

YES! EXACTLY!

A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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