Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because she was proud of her work as Chief Marketing Director of Tropicana.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water jack fell down and broke his neck and he was dead... The End

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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