What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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I like touching my boobs

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What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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