How do you scare a bonde? tell her you want to be her uterus?

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Noideer! No.Blind What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still Noideer! No, it's basically dead

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

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Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

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Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

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sorry son your nanas been put down

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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a 7 year old child is watching a show that involves a c0ck, an ass, a bitch, and a bastard......... However this show is completely appropriate for a 7 year old, what could possibly be inappropriate about a chicken, donkey, dog and an orphan?

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Vancouver Canucks Hater: What time is? Another Vancouver Canucks Hater: 6 past Luongo

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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The moment where Perfect Cell returns declaring he has become "even more perfect" There is no level above perfect :P But sure Cell, strive to improve further on your "perfection", oh he is dead nevermind. Still my favorite character, narcissist, with a touch of class, and a sadistic personality, what more can you wish for?

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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A boy askes santa for a baby brother. Santa says give me your mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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