What did the snake say to the rat?

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

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So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

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A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

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Moby Stick, the Great White Twig

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Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

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What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

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How are you doing today? I'm fine...Except for the rape.

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Roses are red Violets are blue classic

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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A piece of shit gets flushed down the toilet. The end.

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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what do you call a professional gamer Their name

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

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Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

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You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

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How do black guys say hi to each other? Hi.

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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