I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

thumb_up thumb_down -25

how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Where do you find a quadriplegic? Where you left him

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats bad about being a black jew? You have to sit in the back on the oven.............

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A blond and a brunette are on the moon. The brunette says to the blond "I'm glad that independent company's are taking the job of American space travel."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the man say to his doctor?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the rabbit buy the Jewish duck for Hanukkah? Nothing, animals don't celebrate holidays.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Dogs

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops