Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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copy me and i will kill you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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what do you get when you mix a llama with a ostrich? i dont know

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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I was just thinking of how much i laughed at the challenger launch.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

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Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops