What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

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What's more likely to happen in 2011 than the rapture? Finding my real parents.

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A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

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why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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What is worse than seeing a pile of dead minorities? Dropping a dollar.

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Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

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Q: whats big gray and cant swim A: a castle

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What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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