Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

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Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

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what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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What's funny about water, food, and shelter? Nothing, those are essential necessities to live your life, unless you have chains attached to your ankles with bricks on the other end and you're thrown in the middle of the ocean with no chance what so ever

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Continents are large islands.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops