Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

I hate blackniggers

Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...