- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

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A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

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knock knock who's there aids aids who ... dumb ass

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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What are the last words of a child dieing of cancer ? Nothing because he is to ill to speak

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

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Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

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What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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What's the difference between 15 dead babies and a cadilac? I don't have a cadilac.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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