Communism hehe xd

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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How many Legos can you stick up your nose? I'm sure its very painful and considered stupid so don't try it.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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What did the man say to g**guy we are both g**

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

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A father was angry at his daughter's boyfriend because he took her virginity. The boyfriend said he was ashamed that he never told her he has AIDS.

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Nothing. He made it home safely.

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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whoever just posted that stupid yo mama crap answer my comment

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Yo mama so dirty she takes a shower every night

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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