why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

why do fat people eat so much? who cares

Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

Q. How do you stop a clown from smiling? A. You hit it in the face with an axe.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

Arrow in the Knee!

I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead baby joke? Dead baby jokes aren't funny.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

What does an Ethiopian hula-hoop with? A Cheerios JimBoto

what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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