roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

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*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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like this if you think what ever you want to..

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

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j

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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Tina: Mom, would you love me if I was straight Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was gay Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was Bi Mom: No Tina: Why not Mom: Because that's selfish!

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One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

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Women's Rights

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Q How do you know when a gay walks into a bar A Albert rushes over and starts feeling him up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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