What do you call a dear with no eyes? A victim of animal cruelty.

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I work at jcpenny

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What do a grape and an airplane have in common? They both have wings! except not the grape.

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So this guy walks into a bar, & says "I'll have a beer"........ Yup

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Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

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What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

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Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

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A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

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*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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