Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because due to the crashing economy he feels the need tom travel far distanced for work and food to support his growing family, this causes him to take dangerous routes of travel through hazardous areas with fast moving automobiles that potential have the chance to kill or severely Maine the distressed chicken. Not only does he have to cross these roads twice a day he is also under the added pressure of many millions of people questions why he takes such chivalrous actions to save the his future descent and the steep decline in the population of chicken.

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being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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what do fish smoke? sea weed

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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My name is Harry.

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Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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wael.. nuff said

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

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Your mom.

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"Grandpa, How did you know that Grandma was the one?" "When her sister dumbed me."

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A Russian who dosen't like vodka

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops