How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

roses are black violets are grey... im color blind sorry

What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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