How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

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how many tentacles did the mentally retarded octopus have? answer: 8!

My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

Who loves George Clooney? George Clooney

What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

I forgot what i was gonna say

Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

What did the fat black man do? Get a gym membership.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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