so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a Jew A Jew

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what did the little boy see when he walked into his parents bed room a bed

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Korean man, "Hi, I'm the President of North Korea!" Man, "Oh wow! What's your name?" Korean man, "Kim."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

thumb_up thumb_down +26

OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

thumb_up thumb_down +26

??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops