What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

What's the difference between 15 dead babies and a cadilac? I don't have a cadilac.

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

why couldnt the guy move his legs cuz he was paralyzed

what's white and goes up? a retarded snowflake

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

ANTONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

What's the difference between a duck? A toothbrush, because a car only has four doors!

Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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