i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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Once there was a frog. My parents died.

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What happened to your hamster? It died.

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...................... Wats so funny?

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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