guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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1)Did you hear about the sick juggler? 2)No... 1) He just couldn't stop throwing up!!!! 2)Oh no!! Is he ok?? 1)He's dead. 2)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA c&h

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Q;How many screams does it take to ruin a good riddle? A: OOOOOONNNNEEEEEEEEEEE! Moral: This potentially awesome riddle may or may not have been aborted by a scream.

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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How do they call a black man that works in a mine. Miner.

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

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hi joshua

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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How do you break up with a guy? you kick him in the nuts.

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Girlfriend has 10 letters, but then again, so does freeeeedom

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Q:Why did the boy have no friends A: because Ants are not considered friends

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Who is the Greek god of STDS? Herpies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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