Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

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What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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Everyone was standing in a bank happily Three muslims walk in Everyone continues their everyday lives coz we live in a non racist society and nothing could go wrong Then the building blew up

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

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Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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You read this in school as a crowd of kids stand behind you laughing at your screen

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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Your mama's so stupid that i wouldn't be surprised if you were to tell me that she didn't graduate high school.

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If the joke below mine says something about a mom its from adam he sucks ...

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like cows, Cows are cool

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally, she has no arms.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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Do you know why i dont write poems Because i thought that violets were violets OTARTS...WAS...HERE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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