How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

Womens rights

He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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