What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's DEAD!

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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What's worse the a bee sting? Two bees stings What's worse the two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse the. The Holocaust? Three bee stings

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Did you here that Hellen Keller got hit by a bus? No. Neither did she.

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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What is worst then 9/11? What? Tiger woods

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why was the woman?

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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why did the chicken cross the road he didnt he was hit by a van

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A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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why did those sick people do 2 girls 1 cup? me and my sister got bores.

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If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops