How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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teacher: what do you call a math book with no writing in it?! student: idk what? teacher: a notebook! student: ok... thanks

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What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

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Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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Hello

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Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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