Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops