roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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roses are red violets are blue i like movies get me a taco

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

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Brian: Have you seen my slippers? Louise: What the hell are you doing in myhouse? Help ! Police! Brian: You have amnesia like in that film 50 first dates Louise: What film? I don't remember that Brian: Exactly

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

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25

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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BOB:i feall like a hotdog JOE:u r what u eat BOB:no wonder your a d!(k JOE:f*** u

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What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops