why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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3 brothers Mohammed, Ahmed and Saahad were on the 09:25 flight from Tehran to New York. They each only carried a rucksack each and a one way ticket. They are Syrian refugees and their parents are dead.

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''In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, 'If you want to go forward you put your car in 'D.' If you want to go backward, you put your car in 'R.'' But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F'd.''

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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Q: What do Ethiopians eat at night? A: Nothing.

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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I walked up to the door and I asked the door how r u door, and he said, I'm a door!

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joe diragi whacks off his dog

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Harold Camping and the May 21st 2011 rapture.....

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What's worse than a gay joke? Their emotional repercussions, leading to a lack of self-esteem, which eventually drives the homosexual to commit suicide, leaving behind a now destroyed family.

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What Happened to the man who married a money? He contracted HIV

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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what does mandy enjoy on weekends a load of cum in her face

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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why did the older man give candy to the little kids? he was in a parade

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Blah blah something about Ryan Dunn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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